Wednesday 20th

Today was a proper African day. We'd met a couple of Somali guys on the beach the day before who'd appointed themselves as our official tour guides. Today they arranged for us to go on safari, so we drove three hours into the bush. Just as we arrived at the game park, I asked about the availability of certain facilities that one might need to use after a three hour drive. "No." He said, "but there are plenty of bushes along the road. It's better to go here because there are no lions. Inside the park there are no guarantees." Great.

So I walk a few metres away from the car and prepare myself for the rural peeing experience. I took off my pashmina so that I could wrap it around myself to give at least a little privacy, but it being me, things did not end end well. The trees I had chosen for cover turned out to be African thorn trees. I'd never gotten this close to them before but it turns out that those thorns are pretty menacing. Within seconds my pashmina was strung up all round the tree, entangled in the thorny branches. I called Karyn over for help, and she insisted that I not be deterred from my peeing mission. So I took a few steps to the left to get a bit of privacy from Karyn, got into position and dropped my trousers. But when Karyn had freed up my pashmina she started walking over to me. Naturally I backed up into the tree to give myself some room. Ouch. As I feel the thorns break sensitive butt tissue, I panic and start to wriggle. Within seconds I am completely pinned up on the tree, trousers, pants, body and all. Of course after this I was completely unable to pee and had to endure a three hour safari on bumpy dirt roads with a full bladder. It wasn't my finest hour.

The safari itself was like any other I've done, except that all the animals were bright orange. It must have been something in the water. Orange elephants. Orange zebras. Orange giraffes. Although i think they're supposed to be around that colour.

The afternoon was my highlight. We went to visit a Masai village, which is something i've wanted to do for a long time. First off we met the chief. He was an elderly man with nine wives, forty five children and countless grandchildren. His family comprised the whole village. Christmas must be horrendous.

But not even I could contest that the kids looked really cute in their little Masai robes, with their little Masai bottoms exposed for the world to see.

Best of all the village performed a traditional dance for us, and invited us to join in. What an experience!