Wednesday 22nd

I’ve had some bad news lately. Isabelle's little brother was caught sexually assaulting a three year old girl. He himself is only about 14 years old. I feel really bad for Isabelle. Her life was finally back on track; she and her brothers had all been fostered and were all going to school. They were free to be kids again. And then this happens. I’m not surprised he did it, growing up seeing the things he saw, so its hard to feel angry. But I do feel sad for them. And I feel like I’ve let Isabelle down because I’m not there to comfort her. I know it's silly but I love her and I wish I was there to give her a hug and reassure her that everything is going to be alright.

I also found out today that one of the women we ministered to at Ubuzima died at the weekend. A few months ago I was sitting with her and Alice at her house drinking Fanta. And now she's gone, leaving 5 HIV positive kids behind with no father.

(Denise and I at her home before she died)

I’ve never had much experience with the hardships of life before, but I guess that will only increase with the amount of people with crappy lives I meet. It's just kind of hard to deal with when you're so far away from the people who are suffering. When I was in Rwanda I didn't notice it so much, the poor conditions in which people live. I think this is for three reasons. One, I made a decision not to deal with the poverty while I was there in case it became overwhelming. Two, the people I worked with were so full of joy that it made the hardship easy to dismiss. And three, you're there living with them in the hardship, showing solidarity and love.

Now that I’m not there any more, the rubbish is all the more obvious and I’m finding it hard to deal with.