Thursday 7th

Thursday night is Coffee Bar, which is a lot like Tea House in Greece, except that we serve coffee. The team here operates a little bit differently to the team in Greece and I’m finding it hard to adapt. As a young, single women working at the Ark I had to be very careful about my conduct around the male refugees. The rules were strict but simple – do not engage. If a male refugee comes up to you and tries to start a conversation, ignore him and walk away. Keep eye contact to a minimum and be careful where you smile. Our hair always had to be tied up because 'a woman is as loose as her hair' and we had to wear long, high cut, baggy tops to cover our shape. I felt so rude the first few days because it's so different to what I’m used to. Listening to people whom the world rejects and giving them positive attention is an effective way of ministering God's love to them, so in Greece I felt crippled. That is until you begin to understand the culture.

We were working with Muslims from Afghanistan, and in their culture there would be no interaction between non-related men and women. For were a single women to engage in conversation with a man who is not part of her family, it would cast serious aspersions on her character, especially if she's all smiles and eye contact! To behave in this way is synonymous with prostitution. So you feel less rude about walking away from someone knowing that their very approaching you means they think that you're loose. You cannot be too careful about your reputation, especially when witnessing for Jesus. And when your conduct around the male refugees is blameless, it earns you trust and respect from the women, because they don't think you're trying to steal their husbands and they trust you to be a positive moral influence on their children.

So the men in the team work with the male refugees and the women in the team work with the female refugees. And though it's rare, there are enough guys on the team in Athens for this to work. Praise God.

But the approach at the Oasis is different. We can wear our hair down and talk to the guy refugees. In fact, we have to do the latter because there are only three guys on the team, and one of them is away for the summer. I feel very conflicted. Surely if loose hair meant loose woman to the refugees in Athens, it will mean loose woman here as well? And I don't want anyone thinking I’m loose! Happily the team is being very patient and gracious to me as I try and make the adjustments. And I have to remember that here at the Oasis we get refugees from all over the place, not just from Afghanistan. It's a melting pot of cultures, nationalities and languages.